Corsage - The Missing Script After 40

Like swallowing a bitter pill, ads for skincare, weight loss and videos of cats float past my daily Facebook scroll. The little Facebook knows about me it guesses knowing my age. I suppose the fact that I scroll Facebook tells the data czars I am not indeed a young woman. And in predictable fashion upon seeing the preview for Marie Kreutzer’s historical drama Corsage, I bravely admitted a feeling of FOMO at the thought of not seeing it. So along with my husband (who bravely agreed to join me) we took in a mid-day showing, a luxury of those whose advanced careers & schedules allow. Where the film lacks in plot twisting drama it annoyingly delivers in an eerily accurate portrayal of midlife for women. Part lament, part celebration, I felt as though the director interviewed me directly when making this movie. Although I decided to skip the role of motherhood, society only recently offers alternate plausible life paths for women. Traditionally seen as the only real role for women, once one’s children are grown are women not fit for the trash heap or at least 6 feet under? We find stories of the multiple lives of men a fairly common narrative. The young man who races off to war. The less young man who returns to start his family. The not so young man who wages the next war. The old man who tells wise tales on how the world runs. Multiple lives across a lifetime, what of that for women? The young woman who waits for her beau to return from war. The less young woman who starts her family. The not so young woman whose children have left. The end. With little to no purpose why show up to life at all, such is the story of Empress Elizabeth of Austria, whose life of privilege imprisons her in daily pointless ritual. Embarrassingly, I relate to daily pointless rituals. Along with my husband, whose career leads to more lucrative earnings, we live fairly inexpensive lives. No children to pay for, small cars, a small fixer upper in an old part of town, and only a weekly guitar lesson & a health club membership to pay for leaves us wanting for very little. As a minority earner, working for money felt pointless, like riding a bicycle with a stick & string holding only a baby carrot. Even in a modern society where careers offer women alternative purposes I felt barren. Running in place brings one to exhaustion especially during a pandemic. Unsurprisingly, like that of Empress Elizabeth, I quit everything. I sold my business, retired professional wardrobe pieces, abandoned the feeling of needing to contribute and belong, spending an entire year in blissful solitude all to jump off the preverbal ship into a vast cold ocean for merely a thrill. A reminder I still live, a redefining “why bother” all to learn the script for life after 40 is completely missing. And in my quiet rebellion I write a script of my own and marvel in the freedom of societal rejection removing my corsage with my middle finger extended.

Corsage